2008 seems so far away. Cancer opened my eyes to the dead-end job I was in and now, one year later, the cancer is behind me and so is the job. Life sometimes finds a way to open your eyes.
Last night, over dinner, I learned of a friends near death experience in Mexico. I noticed that I pay much more attention to stories like these, now. It's a long, detailed matter and I can't tell it with the same conviction he had so I won't waste your time.
What's important is that he described how he changed from this experience; a new set of eyes from his journey. He's on a new path now; no more taking life for granted, time is short. His fear of dying and loss of control propels him to do great things. This experience happened ten years ago yet it still guides his life.
I have a much shorter memory. I made some big changes post-cancer but I'm coasting now. Immediately after treatment, I had a Lance side-effect. I wanted to complete a marathon, an Ultramarathon, ride across America, etc. Beating cancer makes you feel invincible. It's a wild roller coaster: the invincible naiveté of youth is erased by the reality of a potentially terminally disease, only to be painted over by the exuberance of survival. In some aspects I take more risks now than prior to cancer. New mantra: "If I can beat cancer then I can beat anything".
At least, that was the way it seemed last year. Now, going into 2010, my biggest obstacle will be complacency. The job is challenging me in every mental way possible but I realized I don't have any major obstacles to look forward to. I feel like I've taken the next step into adulthood.
The ride that never was. I met Dom and Frank at Swartmore University this morning for a moutain bike ride in the snow. It was a mess, the snow was too deep. In 30 minutes we covered 0.63 miles.
